Can You Love and Hate the Same Thing?
Ambivalence When Love and Hate Collide Contact our team Psychologists have long suspected that the human mind can be home to some awkward roommates –
August 19, 2025
Psychologists have long suspected that the human mind can be home to some awkward roommates - two attitudes toward the same thing that can’t quite agree. We call this ambivalence, and it shows up everywhere: from politics to pudding, from friendships to public figures.
Love–Hate in Everyday Life
- A teenager may say they hate a parent for strict rules, yet feel deep love and dependence.
- After betrayal, someone may still love a partner for the happy memories.
- We admire an artist’s work but dislike their personal values.
But ambivalence doesn’t stop at people. Can we also love and hate a brand or product at the same time?
The Psychology of Ambivalence
- Supporters’ View: Attitudinal ambivalence is a real psychological state — positive and negative evaluations co-exist and influence behaviour.
- Skeptics’ View: “Contradiction” is an illusion, caused by measurement error, changing moods, or separate attitudes stored in memory.
- Neuroscience Evidence: Brain regions for love and hate overlap, both triggering strong emotional arousal (Zeki & Romaya, 2008).
This tug-of-war often plays out across:
- Explicit attitudes (what we say)
- Implicit attitudes (what we feel automatically)
Research Insights
- Wilson, Lindsey & Schooler (2000) – The Dual Attitude Model: explicit vs implicit attitudes can diverge.
- Greenwald & Banaji (1995) – Implicit Social Cognition: hidden biases differ from reported views.
- Hofmann et al. (2005) – Implicit–explicit divergence in consumer goods, even without social desirability pressures.
Ambivalence in Everyday Consumption
- Car ownership – freedom vs expense, status vs environmental guilt.
- Fast fashion – affordable trends vs ethical/environmental concerns.
- Social media – connection and entertainment vs wasted time, fake news, privacy worries.
- Food & lifestyle – joy of indulgence vs health risks and guilt.
Why This Matters for Brands
Shoppers are complex:
- They complain about products they keep buying.
- Loyal users can also be the harshest critics.
- In our research, consumers often score brands high on love attributes (confidence, style, honesty) and high on hate attributes (not sustainable, not practical, not inclusive).
These contradictions are insights, not noise. Ignoring them means missing what truly drives behaviour.
Key Takeaway
Consumers can – and do – love and hate the same thing. To uncover these truths:
- Measure both explicit attitudes (self-reports) and implicit attitudes (fast, instinctive responses).
- Look beyond what consumers say they like to what their reaction times and behaviours reveal.
After all, the truth about brands may not lie in people’s words – it lies in their contradictions.
References
Greenwald, A. G., & Banaji, M. R. (1995). Implicit social cognition: Attitudes, self-esteem, and stereotypes. Psychological Review, 102(1), 4–27. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.102.1.4
Suggests that one “true” attitude exists, but explicit measures may differ from implicit ones due to self-presentation or awareness gaps.
Explicit Self-Report Measures. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(10), 1369-1385. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205275613 (Original work published 2005)
Implicit attitudes (IAT) toward the same goods tended to skew more positive, suggesting that the negative side of ambivalence was less automatically activated. In contrast, brands with strong identity signalling (e.g., Nike vs. Adidas) often showed smaller implicit–explicit gaps — people’s brand preferences were more consistently positive or negative.
Nordgren, L. F., van Harreveld, F., & van der Pligt, J. (2006). Ambivalence, discomfort, and motivated information processing. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 42(2), 252–258. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2005.04.004
Shows that contradictory attitudes trigger increased cognitive effort to resolve conflict.
Wilson, T. D., Lindsey, S., & Schooler, T. Y. (2000). A model of dual attitudes. Psychological Review, 107(1), 101–126. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.107.1.101
Apparent contradictions are explained as two attitudes existing in different memory systems, only one of which is active at a given moment.
van Harreveld, F., van der Pligt, J., & de Liver, Y. N. (2009). The agony of ambivalence and ways to resolve it: Introducing the MAID model. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 13(1), 45–61. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868308324518
Ambivalence leads to discomfort, motivating attitude change, information seeking, or avoidance.
Zeki, S., & Romaya, J. P. (2008). Neural correlates of hate. PLoS ONE, 3(10), e3556.
Research shows that love and hate share two areas of the brain, namely the putamen and the insula.
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